Showing posts with label hard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hard. Show all posts

Friday, 26 September 2008

#3 Swords


If a knight is using a morning star or an axe he is the wrong kind of knight. These weapons haven't got the flair of the sword, nor the edge, nor the za-za; he'd be no better than men-at-arms. A snicker-snacking Vorpal Blade is what you want; your own gold-hilted-diamond-encrusted-Freudian Excalibur, can you think of a named morning star? ("of +2 versus trolls" does not count)

Knights like the feel of something long, hard and dangerous in their hand. So do damsels, but this is quite different. A sword, especially an ornamented one, shows any passing serfs or peons who is boss and that they'd better be fulfilling their feudal dues or they'll meet the hilt of this baby across their foreheads, bitches. If you are a passing serf or peon, first show the proper respect by grovelling, then if you want the knight to like you (and possibly not commandeer your food/horse/wife for questing), ask him how he got his sword. He will proceed to explain the epic tale, so make lots of oohs and aahs. Just do not point out the local blacksmith's trademark symbol on the blade, he may smite you. Either way, you'll have given him a good mood for the rest of the day.